Bravery in this Body

Wednesday, April 19, 2017 Unknown 0 Comments

"You're so brave for posting these photos."

No. I am not brave for posting these photos. I am existing. I am taking up space. I am uncovering a body that possesses features society says are better left concealed. There is nothing brave about having a body. We all have one. The fact that people will think it's brave for me to show mine says less about me and more about the world in which we live.

My size 10 body. My 34DDD breasts. My tummy rolls. My broad shoulders. My arm fat. My cellulite. My stretch marks. Here they are. They are part of what makes me me. They are as essential to who I am in this moment as my tattoos and purple hair. They tell the story of daily morning coffees with extra cream, lazy nights in with my husband eating pizza and watching TV, an ongoing battle with PCOS, and a preference for roller blading over hitting the gym. They are features that are almost a carbon copy of my nana, who passed away but somehow lives on in the genetics staring back at me in the mirror each morning. They are the things I was told I should hate - and I did. I started that inner dialogue as a smaller, thinner, younger me and cultivated it into a mental disorder known as BDD. And as the number on the scale grew and girth of my thighs no longer fit into the same size pants as they did in high school, I convinced myself I was not worthy of love in this current body - not from others, not from myself.

So no, I am not brave for posting these photos. I am brave for trying to love myself despite a world and an inner voice that tells me every single minute of everything single hour of every single damn fucking day that I shouldn't.

And in case you couldn't tell, I'm over covering myself up and thanks to Calvin Klein's ID bralette, these big boobs can finally go braless.

Shop This Revealing, Liberating Look

White mesh bralette, Calvin Klein (exact)

Black loose-ftting tank, Free People (exact)

Contrast stripe leggings, asos (similar)